lydia c. martin. 17 years young. banshee.
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[Jackson had thought about it on the plane.
Thought about her in her wedding dress,
silky like the lingerie she used to wear,
thought of her saying her vows in her beautiful
little voice that used to whine Jackson’s name
at night, thought of her hands in another’s person’s
grasp when they used to claw lines up and down
Jackson’s back.
He missed bleeding for her.
He thought about it
to the point of contemplating
how easy it would be to break
an airplane window
and jump o u t.][She smiled at him when he arrived at the church,
though looked shocked that he was there at all.
He said congratulations, went to stand in the pews.
That was all he had to say. All that could be said.]{ I - I love you… }
[There was an engagement band on her finger,
soon after a diamond that would reflect the light
in her eyes, and he remembered the moon pouring
through his window as she looked at him with those
beautiful, shining eyes. Jackson didn’t look up once
during the marriage. He couldn’t bear to see the face
of the man who was standing in his place.][At the reception was an open bar.
Jackson drank until the sounds of
Lydia’s vowsechoingin his ears were
replaced with the steady rhythm of music.
He danced with everyone and no one
he could name, though he once knew
some of them from school.
He threw up on a kid named McCall a little bit.
McCall laughed it off, slapped his shoulder,
and went to wash it off in the bathroom.
Jackson wondered if he had liked him in school;
he seemed nice.][But throwing up made Jackson bolder,
tricked into thinking his stomach was empty
and could handle another round now.
Another two. Another three.
He spilled the fourth on the floor,
took the bottle with him instead.][His vision was
b l u r r y,
but he could see her perfectly.
And now he knew what he had to say.
He just didn’t know how to say it.][He staggered closer to her.
A kid named Stilinski caught him
from falling, told him to sit down.
He and Lydia locked eyes.
He was suddenly dizzy, heart heavy,
and blood hot with anger,
he couldn’t suppress his words as they
ran like molten lava through his teeth.]Do you still?
[He smashed the bottle to the ground.
He realized his vision was only
obscured by tears.]Do you?
[Stilinski made him sit down.
Jackson kept shouting his heart out,
drying out the liquid rage in veins.]Do you still l o v e me?
{ Cause it’s five past three,
I can hardly see,
and I’m on the verse of passing out… }- ♕
♥ ℒ ℳ ♥
{ when she had been sixteen, lydia martin had
deluded herself into thinking that she was going
to marry jackson whittemore. when she was seventeen,
lydia martin cried herself to sleep every night that
she didn’t Skype said boy. when she was eighteen,
lydia martin met jordan parrish. he was a deputy at
the police station and lydia had met him when stiles
had gotten the pair of them arrested. }
{ it wasn’t love at first sight, oh no, lydia martin was still too
in love with jackson whittemore to think that parrish was
anything more than an attractive and slightly taboo booty call.
but then she started noticing the differences in between jordan
and jackson. jordan admitted his feelings to her– even when
lydia couldn’t say the most important words back to him. jordan
loved her and cherished her verbally. jackson never had. }
{ lydia supposed that that was what had gotten her to say yes
when jordan had finally popped the question. it had taken weeks of her dropping hints. he would love her and he would tell her that
he did. maybe one day, the boy that had abandoned her for a foreign
country would be a distant memory that she looked upon with fondness.
so why had she sent him a wedding invitation? }
{ he was there when she walked down the aisle and god, he was impossibly
handsome, even now. lydia even thought that he outshown the groom. that
was the only look that she allowed herself because if there had been more,
lydia’s spectacularly planned wedding would have gone to waste. considering
that she had been planning the extravagant affair since the age of five, that
was something that she did not want. she kept her eyes on jordan instead
and focused on the fact that the love in his eyes was real as he slid the ring
onto her finger. }
{ she didn’t expect his presence at the reception.
but with jackson whittemore, ;she’d never been
able to really fit him into carefully arranged plans.
and so his shouting took her by surprise and made
her quake and tremble and almost regret the ring on
her finger. but now, she was upset and lydia martin
didn’t like herself when she was angry. }
{ they must have made quite the sight– a small strawberry blonde
dragging a tall man out of her very own reception but she didn’t care.
they needed to talk. they needed to talk right now. as soon as they were
out the door of the building, she was yelling– voice carrying in the hazy air.
mid-july, fuck the heat, why the fuck had she arranged for her wedding
to take place then? it had been the only month that the venue was avaliable in. }
" What do you think you’re doing?
You can’t just show up, Whittemore,
with your question about love.
THIS IS MY WEDDING. I am the bride
and you are not the groom. So fuck you.
Stop making a F O O L out of yourself. "
{ and now for one final blow to soothe her hurt pride over the fact
that her wedding was now ruined. she didn’t know who it hurt more. }
" I never loved you anyways. “
bravexbanshee liked this bravexbanshee reblogged this from xnferiorityarchive and added: ♥ ℒ ℳ ♥ { don’t cry, don’t cry. if you don’t cry, you can convince yourself that you and jackson would have ended badly....
xnferiorityarchive posted this