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princexwhittemore:

♕ -

[The words cut through him like knives,
but unforgiving as they were, their sharp
blades were not laced with poison -
Jackson would rather die than live with
the -scars- those words were bound to leave.
                                          His head hung, his vision stopped spinning,
                                          as if the alcohol was bleeding out his wounds.
                                          She sounded so sure, but she looked so sad.
                                                           And so beautiful, all dressed in white.
                                          She was l i g h t and Jackson was darkness, and
                                          he felt like a monster for imposing harm on something
                                                                                so p u r e.]

                              _{{ she’s dressed in white and putting off crying… }}

        It is, isn’t it? It is your wedding.
        And I’m not the groom. That’s not…
        how I imagined it. This is not how I wanted it.

[Jackson found it hard to
make words. He scavenged
his mind for a tangible
explanation for his feelings
and latched onto it; an object.]

        I gave you a key to my house. I lied.
        I said it wasn’t a wedding ring. It was.
        It was just safe. I thought that maybe,
        if I gave it to you, you would keep coming
        over, and staying the night, and maybe one
        day, you would just never leave.
        And you would stay with me f o r e v e r.

[Jackson laughed despite himself.]

        But I left you.

                [It was at this time a tall, dark
                boy stepped out to see them.
                He handed Jackson a water bottle,
                asked Lydia if she was okay.
                Without waiting for much of a reply,
                he headed back inside, telling Lydia
                she knew where to find him. Jackson
                didn’t know him, but he liked him.
                He took a drink from the water bottle,
                thankful for the cool rush of water down
                his burning throat.
                                                       He smiled.]

        I’m glad you have
        these people to care
        about you. I always tried
        to care about you. I think
        you made it easy. Like,
        you would pretend you didn’t
        know science, and I’d come over
        to help, and we’d k i s s all night,
       and you would still pass every test.
       You’re smart. I appreciated it.
        I tried to care about you as best I could.
                         I just couldn’t tell you.

                                                                     _{{ I - I love you… }}

        I just couldn’t say it. 

- ♕

_{♥ ℒ ℳ ♥}

_{{ he looks sad standing in front of her.
so sad, in fact, that lydia almost feels regret
lie. she feels so much regret that she is
choking on it. she can’t even lie to herself
anymore. her hands clench into fists at his
little monologue and lydia wants to scream.
he is ruining her wedding and she was allowing
him to talk. she isallowing him to make her
feel guilty about marrying the guy that she loves.
cruel words will break him. it will send him away
and lydia wants that. but she also wants him to
s t a y. but she’s married now. and he is too late. }}

                 _{" You can’t always get what you want, Jackson.
                  Everything is too late. Why didn’t you come back?
                  Why didn’t you call? And I was fine. I told myself
                  that I didn’t love you. I told myself that it didn’t matter
                 And I was right. It doesn’t matter. “}

_{{ she is twisting the knife inside of his heart, finding
his weaknesses and exposing them with nails that
have been carefully painted ivory. it is almost ironic that
both she and her wedding dress are now stained with
the blood from his proverbial wounds. }}

                 _{” – We were sixteen years old, Jackson. Forever was in the
                  backseat of your Porsche. It was temporary. It was for the
                 hallways of Beacon Hills High School. Those days are
                 over. Forever wasn’t possible for us and don’t delude
                 yourself into imagining that it was. “}

_{{ she wants nothing more than to throw herself at him.
but that, she tells herself, would be trashy. and also it
would be wrong. especially if you consider the fact that
she is barely mrs. jordan parrish. it was hard for lydia to
think of herself like that. especially when she had been
thinking of herself as mrs. jackson whittemore for a while.
maybe those cliche magazines were right. maybe first
loves never die. but she will kill this one tonight.
even if it rips out her heart and she bleeds all over her
wedding dress. }}

                 _{” It’s too little too late. I should call you a taxi. Where are
                  you staying, Mr. Whittemore? Your presence is no longer
                 welcome here.“}

_{{ her smile isn’t trembling with the amount of strength
that it took to fix it upon carefully painted lips. she is lying.
lydia martin has always been good at lying. and now,
she wishes that jackson would understand her like he
had in the past. she wishes that he would see that it is all
a lie. maybe, she even wants him to beg her to get a divorce.
but she’s always been so good at breaking people. so maybe
she’s finally broken him. }} 

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2. bravexbanshee reblogged this from xnferiorityarchive and added:

   ♥ ℒ ℳ ♥ { don’t cry, don’t cry. if you don’t cry, you can convince yourself that you and jackson would have ended badly....

3. xnferiorityarchive posted this